Tuesday 31 January 2017

Why is it in Devon?

My phone buzzed late on a Friday, my face lit up as I took in the message; “Hi Chris, did you get my email?”. I did get the email but “sorry my laptop’s in Devon” I replied. Their confusion was palpable in the “Eh?” I got thrown back.

Other than Hibs getting drawn with Hearts in the Scottish cup tie by what looked like a drunken Rod Stewart, the only other exciting thing to happen to me in the past week was the millennial equivalent of replacing a car tyre. Taking my MacBook to get fixed. After a morning of using it, I took it from one (glamorous) location to an (equally glamorous) location across town, opened it up and I was met with a blank screen, well not entirely, there was a folder with a question mark flashing at me. Mocking me. 
I had no idea what it meant, I come from a history of Windows computers, the strongest relationship i'd had with Apple was a brief fling in 2010 where I dated an iPad. It was a loving relationship, the kind you show off in public hoping it makes the papers but in the end meaningless and we agreed to part ways once I met a newer model, an iPhone.

A Mac is an emotional investment, like a first child (maybe not exactly like that) and up until this point it had given me no bother. Still the folder flashed. I did everything I could with my own knowledge and understanding but I bit down hard on the bullet and gave Ian from the Apple helpline a call. Ian was nice, he said he was in ‘the north east’ and ‘happy to help’. He had this fun quirk where whenever you asked him something he’d pause and say ‘ok, so…’ with an upper inflection. He did this every time without fail and it became a sort of sport to see how many times I could get him to say it. There were periods of waiting during the call that I’d take advantage of and play another round of the ‘Ok, so…’ game. 

In the end Ian from the north east was nice but didn’t solve my problem so he booked my laptop into the next available Genius bar appointment in Scotland which thankfully was in Stirling that day. I made a move and got the train from Glasgow and the west to the Forth Valley, a journey that is actually quite picturesque if you don’t look out of the window passing Larbert.*

I’d never seen a shopping centre so quiet. Yea it was a weekday but this place was dead. I wandered down the centre of the tall shop-lined corridor the smells of Lush and Thorntons competing with each or for priority in my nose (Lush was winning).
Glass fronted and teeming with twenty year old cool geeks, I stepped into the white walled chapel of Apple. It’s wasn’t an official Apple shop but they have ‘registered traders’ who can look at your device. Kind of in the same way that you can get a Costa Coffee from a vending machine at service stations. Yea it’s technically a Costa but not really.

The young guy behind the counter was cool. I am not. He took one look at the record of my call with Ian, opened up my laptop and confirmed what we both already knew. “Yea, its an issue with the hard drive, dude, we’ll need to send it away to get looked at”. I pathetically asked If there was anything, anything else he could do that day, “Not really bro… we could run diagnostics but it’ll probably show up the same issue”. It did. 

There was nothing else for it, It had to be sent away. I did discuss and look at other options but this was the quickest and potentially cheapest afforded to me. Enquiring where they sent the ill and infirm computers he told me; “Exeter bro”. ‘Don't call me bro' I thought, you’re sending my laptop to Devon, have some respect. In hindsight this was a little dramatic. He stuck a barcode to the lid and put it in a clear plastic bag reminiscent of a body bag and that was the last I saw of it... Until almost exactly a week later when it came back and there was no real problem just a bad cable that was cheap to fix. 

The moral of the story is. It’s just a laptop. Calm down dear. 

*Obviously a joke, I’m from Falkirk I have no legroom to take the proverbial out of Larbert. That line would have worked equally well if I’d have said: 
"A  journey that is actually quite picturesque if you don’t look out of the window passing Camelon.”
or
"A journey that is actually quite picturesque if you don’t look out of the window passing Falkirk.
or
"A journey that is actually quite picturesque if you don’t look out of the window passing Lenzie."
Thanks for reading (If you did) you can follow me on Twitter and Instagram. If you're looking for another blog, this guy is good. I also have a proper website here

Sunday 8 January 2017

You Should Listen To This: Cabin Pressure

I’ve been saving this one till they started repeating it on BBC Radio 4. This series is something i've been obsessed with for the last few years, and not since My Childhood love of Doctor Who have I been so enthralled by a programme. You should listen to Cabin Pressure. 

Produced for the BBC by Pozzitive, Cabin pressure is the story of a tiny charter airline staffed by four people with one plane. It follows their (literal) ups and downs as they fly everyone from a full orchestra to an abandoned cricket team. 


I first discovered it by accident a few years ago. The BBC Radio iPlayer app was fairly new at the time and it curates all of the programmes in to categories as well as stations. I often go through the comedy section to see what their is and the name pop up many times along with the image of Benedict Cumberbatch in a captains uniform. I must have just taken a punt on an episode one day and the rest as they say is… spending the next few months listning back to all the episodes I’d missed in order and falling head over ears for the world of MJN air. The friendliest sitcom on radio. 



The lynchpin behind it all is the writer, John Finnemore. An immense talent, responsible for a number of brilliant programmes on Radio 4. He also plays the part of Arthur, the loveable but dim server. Writing a sitcom can be challenging and demands good characters, the central four blend together seamlessly, they are real in a bizarre world, making you care about their wants and happy about their successes. 


The depth of it’s warmth is matched by the depths of it’s characters.

“A list of actors that wouldn’t be out of place in a play at The National."
Yes that is Sherlock playing Martin Creiff! They were originally worried when Benedict was propelled to stardom Sherlock as a groups (school's or murder’s) of young fans began to fill the audience at the recordings. It was thought that they’d come to see him and not really react (laugh) at this Radio 4 comedy but they needn't have worried as the the equation of Finemore's writing and a stellar cast makes it near impossible for anyone not to find this charmingly hilarious. 
kkbook.deviantart.com
The Sherlock and Cumberbatch fandoms have a reputation (a good one) for not doing things by halves and in the most creative way. The show was already popular but it skyrocketed (pun intended) in a way that Radio 4 sitcoms don’t usually do. Fan art, Cosplay and even a European convention called Euro Airdot Con*

*The name ‘Airdot’ is a reference to the first ever episode where Carolyn and Martin are having a discussion about who’s in charge. Him (the captain) or her (The airline owner) 
CAROLYN: Martin, you’re a berk.
MARTIN: I’m not a berk, Carolyn; I’m an airline captain.
CAROLYN: Wrong on both counts. You’re a colossal berk; and you’re not an airline captain.
(Martin sighs.): I don’t have an airline. I have one jet. You cannot put one jet in a line. If MJN is anything, it is an airdot. 

:::Some things you’ll want to know before you start listning :::

Every episode is named after the location featured and all 4 series include every letter of the alphabet.
Series 1
Abu Dhabi
Boston
Cremona
Douz
Edinburgh
Fitton




Series 2
Helsinki
Gdansk
Ipswich
Johannesburg
Kuala Lumpur
Limerick

Molokai - Christmas Special 
Series 3 
Qikiqtarjuarq
Paris
Newcastle
Ottery St. Mary
Rotterdam
St. Petersburg



Series 4
Timbuktu
Uskerty
Vaduz
Wokingham
Xinzhou
Yverdon-les-Bains

Zurich (2 parter)

The Traveling Lemon It began as a game played in an episode entitled Qikiqtarjuaq. It became a wonderful fan tribute and way to raise money for charity. 


The crew play a number of games to pass the time:
  • Brians Of Britan
Name as many famous people with the name Brian from the UK as you can. 
  • People Who ought to have been enemies. 
Ruby Was +John Wayne / Donna Summer+ Anna Wintour
  • People Who Aren’t Evil but who have evil Sounding Names
Davina McCall, Russell Crowe, Calista Flockhart 
  • Books that sound better without the final letter
Three Men in a Boa, How to be Goo, Of Mice and Me
  • Through Customs Rhymes 
I came through Customs and all I had to declare was some … (he pauses momentarily) … jelly from New Delhi, a tunic from Munich, some maracas from Caracas and some … cattle from Seattle.
  • Rhyming Journeys 
Vienna to Siena /Poole to Goole/ Aruba to Cuba

It has a fan site with every episode fully transcribed


LISTEN TO THE FIRST EPISODE HERE 

LISTEN TO THE SECOND EPISODE HERE

Thanks for reading (If you did) you can follow me on Twitter and Instagram. If you're looking for another blog, this guy is good. I also have a proper website here
Special thanks needs to got to www.cabinpressurefans.co.uk a brilliant resource for fans and indeed anything you want to know about cabin pressure.  


Sunday 1 January 2017

BBC Music Awards 2016

jamiesimonds.com
In my continued pursuit as 'jack of all trades and master of none' I returned as an Artist Liaison Rep to the 3rd Annual BBC Music awards in London. 
For me, it was four days in total, beginning on the Saturday and traveling from Glasgow Central to London Euston on the train. Thankfully I’d booked early enough in advance that I could travel first class on the cheap. When you imagine ‘First Class’ on a train you imagine the Orient Express, silver service, being waited hand on foot, fine wines and perhaps even a murder that's solved buy another passenger that happens to be a Belgian detective. 

Arriving into London I journeyed towards Canning Town and to the ExCeL centre. To give you an Idea of the size of this place it’s like an airport with less planes an extra terminal and you can take your pick of coffee from one of the two Costa Coffee’s… and we did. 


::BRIEF SIDE NOTE ABOUT THE HOTEL::
I’m not fussy (really I’m not) about hotels. But this place would have made Basil Fawlty blush. The restaurant attached to it was just called ‘PUB’ It was boiling hot and had an open kebab shop in the corner. The smell of grease and chunky chips did not amuse a tired team up early that day. The rooms were tiny and we had two working plugs out of six. The shower was smaller than a matchbox and the water was intermittently hot and cold every few seconds. But apart from that it was fine. Oh and the towels were weird...

After a day of smooth rehearsals and a night of slagging off the hotel, it was show day…


Slightly later start for us, but the day soon became busy as the stars and request entourage’s began to arrive and press schedules including interviews and pre-records began. Culminating in the red carpet walk and finally, the onstage performance, live on the telly. I think I’m right when I say this was the first time it has been live live, previous years it’s been as-live or time shifted?

After the show we had a bit of a de-rig to do and didn’t get out of the venue till after midnight but not before a team photo. 


:::::::::::::My own personal highlights include:::::::::::::  

The Food. An army marches on it’s stomach (not said by Napoleon) and It takes an army to put on an event like this, thankfully the food supplied by ‘Eat to the Beat’ (Not sure if they’re named after the Blondie album) is superb. 

The people. This event is very well ran and it takes a hard working and slick team to achieve that. Everyone was on top form and in good humour. 

The constant supply of tea and coffee.

This is an odd one but… twitter? What I mean is, when you’re part of something that's trending online it's a cool feeling. I still have to explain what it is to my gran though. 

Ending up on the telly…well we were asked: 

Thanks for reading (If you did) you can follow me on Twitter and Instagram. If you're looking for another blog, this guy is good. I also have a proper website here