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THE GINGER GUY

Making It Up As I Go Along

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Two weeks ago, for the first time,  I stood up at the Glasgow Comedy Festival in front of a paying crowd, with no material and no idea what to do. That, however, is normally how most improvised comedy shows begin.

My first memory of Improv is the same for a lot of people, watching ‘Who’s Line is It Anyway’ on TV as a kid. I loved it. It was quick, weird, clever and hilarious. Ever since then I’ve always been interested by improv but I never really thought of it as something I could do.

Years later, I started going to the Fringe and seeing shows, first as a punter then as a worker. Some were better than others, but they all made me laugh, which I suppose is a minimal expectation. If I had to highlight any from last year it would have to be Showstoppers and Murder She Didn’t Write.

Showstoppers is a sell out hit every year. I first went to see them in 2015 and instantly loved them. They are improv professionals at the top of their game, making up an entire musical every night based on suggestions. It's so much fun and you can tell they love doing it.

10/10 Go see @TheShowstoppers Because you have to. #EdFest https://t.co/byTeSCyPCj

— Chris Quilietti 📻 (@ChrisQ_1) August 26, 2016

Murder She Didn’t Write was a popular show last year by Degrees Of Error . A murder mystery where someone from the crowd chose the weapon, victim and murderer. At one point they were doing two shows a day. A normal one and a ‘late night’ version where they changed it up by swapping genders or having an invited guests.

Murder She Didn't Write is brilliant. A lot of fun and a must see!!@DegreesOfError #edfringe #edfest

— Chris Quilietti 📻 (@ChrisQ_1) August 20, 2016 

For the last few years however I found myself saying to people: ‘After this years festival I’m going to take an improv class.’ But before I knew it, August had come and gone, and I hadn’t done anything about it. The Fringe would rekindle my love for the art, I’d declare that ‘this year, I’m going to do it’ and then not, a month would pass and i’d forget. A pattern of repetition so predictable, it may even constitute a game*.

Well not last year.

At the end of August I looked online and booked to take part in an Improv ‘taster’ workshop in Edinburgh. I was terrified and didn’t know what to expect. I was having war-like flashbacks to when I was in the Falkirk Children's Theatre and we had to pretend to be animals. Was it going to be like that? Or would it be full of people who knew what they were doing who would easily be able to tell that I was making it up as I went along… actually in hindsight that’s essentially what Improv is.

Once I shook off the nerves I really enjoyed the workshop then enrolled in classes. Everyone there was in the same boat. A few were actors looking to add skills to their bow, some just after for a hobby, a few wannabe comedians and those who applied on a whim. The classes were quite an eye opener for me as I thought I had an Idea of what was involved in Improv. I mean, I had watched a handful of Youtube videos on the subject, so naturally I was an expert ready for whatever they threw at me…

The most jarring thing from the first few weeks was realising I wasn’t actually funny. I can hear the shouts of “We could have told you that” but what I mean is the things that I thought were funny, weren’t. For example, I’d be in a scene and say something that I thought might get a laugh and then it didn’t. Instantly put off, focus is gone, I’m self analysing and not paying attention to my partner. It took me a while to stop analysing and start investing in the reality.

The first thing you learn about improv is the golden rule of ‘Yes, and..’ It is the accepting of whatever is going on and then adding to it. So if I say “Here is an apple” you would say “Yes and we should fill it with poison for the queen”. This is fundamental to improv as if you don't accept the reality you’re trying to create, how's is your audience going to do that? This is one of the may things that TBC teaches beginners about Improv.

While on the course I started to find out about the Edinburgh and Glasgow improv scenes. There’s a lot more to take in than I expected. I started going to the Monkey Barrel Sunday Night Shows and the Glasgow Harold Nights both of which I can highly recommend.

After a few months a friend of mine invited me to audition for an improv group based in Glasgow that were looking new members, The Improv Ninjas. I didn’t expect to audition for anyone so soon. I had hardly any performance experience and the little I did have was in front of other improvisers, arguably one of the best audiences because they’re good at pretending they’re enjoying themselves. It took me a bit of time to say 'yes, and' to the audition, eventually I decided I had nothing to lose, it was just another chance to rehearse with good improvisers, I was never going to get in.

I pulled into Glasgow early, the audition was at 3pm. The plan was to go to a coffee shop and calm myself, I was uncommonly nervous. On the way from my coffee sanctuary to the audition I stopped off to get a bottle of water (that would never leave my bag because I forgot about it) and chewing gum. Leaving the shop I realised that time had somehow moved on at speed without me and I was now running late. I ran from the shop to the venue. It’s bad enough being nervous, now I was also out of breath and stressed.

When at the door I text my friend and he took me up to the room where I was greeted by the existing Ninjas and another auditionee. It was all over in a flash. A few opening games, a handful of scenes and that was it! Train home, done. I hadn’t a clue if if the audition went well or not but that didn’t matter because I had already resigned myself to not getting it.

Turns out, I must have been ok because they let me in. I was genuinely surprised and could not wait to get into rehearsals. “How can you rehearse improv?” almost everyone asks. Improv rehearsal involves practicing the skills and techniques to get better at those, not to work on one particular plot or story. It’s also about creating a bond with your group, so you can become slick and (hopefully) funny.  

Before I knew it, it was our last rehearsal before we were due to perform at the Glasgow Comedy Festival. I had my club t-shirt and there was nothing else for it but to give it out best and support each other, and we did.

In radio, 50 minutes is a long time, but the show went by in a flash. The world premier of ‘Improv Ninjas Save The World’ was a sell out (It was only a 40 seater room but still). The suggestion we take for our show is a title, so we performed. ‘Attack of the Racist Avocados’. It was as bizarre as you can imagine, and I had so much fun. The audience left happy and I was reasonably pleased with my own performance. Everyone in the group had reason to be proud of themselves and each other. They are amazing. Yes, and I’m proud to be one of them.

*The Game in Improv

Top 5 Scottish April Fool's.

Unlike a lot of people I quite like April Fools Day, its a chance for the news to be deliberately stupid, not just by happenstance. Here are my top 5 Scottish April Fools 

5

The Edinburgh Fringe 

A giant glass roof over the Royal Mile 

Ohh, @edfringe ... very good. pic.twitter.com/5ViQMzMAUa

— Chris Quilietti 📻 (@ChrisQ_1) April 1, 2017

 It began early when I opened up my emails and saw this in my inbox from the Edinburgh Fringe. Admittedly it had me going for a second then I remembered the date. 

4

The Edinburgh Evening News

Drivers of Electric cars allowed to go 30MPH in 20MPH Zones

3

Glasgow Living 

Glass box around the Duke Of Wellington statue 



This would never work... they'd just put the cone on top of the box. 

2

The Telegraph 

Polar bears in Scotland 


Spotted in the outer hebrides apparently.... 

1 

Tennent's

Tennent's vending machine in all (good) Scottish Airports. 

Our new Flight-Size 100ml Tennent’s cans available at all Scottish airports. Ideally shaped and sized for your hand luggage. Thank us later. pic.twitter.com/nPcQdkaBgV

— Tennent's Lager (@TennentsLager) April 1, 2017

Why is it in Devon?

My phone buzzed late on a Friday, my face lit up as I took in the message; “Hi Chris, did you get my email?”. I did get the email but “sorry my laptop’s in Devon” I replied. Their confusion was palpable in the “Eh?” I got thrown back.

Other than Hibs getting drawn with Hearts in the Scottish cup tie by what looked like a drunken Rod Stewart, the only other exciting thing to happen to me in the past week was the millennial equivalent of replacing a car tyre. Taking my MacBook to get fixed. After a morning of using it, I took it from one (glamorous) location to an (equally glamorous) location across town, opened it up and I was met with a blank screen, well not entirely, there was a folder with a question mark flashing at me. Mocking me. 

I had no idea what it meant, I come from a history of Windows computers, the strongest relationship i'd had with Apple was a brief fling in 2010 where I dated an iPad. It was a loving relationship, the kind you show off in public hoping it makes the papers but in the end meaningless and we agreed to part ways once I met a newer model, an iPhone.

A Mac is an emotional investment, like a first child (maybe not exactly like that) and up until this point it had given me no bother. Still the folder flashed. I did everything I could with my own knowledge and understanding but I bit down hard on the bullet and gave Ian from the Apple helpline a call. Ian was nice, he said he was in ‘the north east’ and ‘happy to help’. He had this fun quirk where whenever you asked him something he’d pause and say ‘ok, so…’ with an upper inflection. He did this every time without fail and it became a sort of sport to see how many times I could get him to say it. There were periods of waiting during the call that I’d take advantage of and play another round of the ‘Ok, so…’ game. 

In the end Ian from the north east was nice but didn’t solve my problem so he booked my laptop into the next available Genius bar appointment in Scotland which thankfully was in Stirling that day. I made a move and got the train from Glasgow and the west to the Forth Valley, a journey that is actually quite picturesque if you don’t look out of the window passing Larbert.*

I’d never seen a shopping centre so quiet. Yea it was a weekday but this place was dead. I wandered down the centre of the tall shop-lined corridor the smells of Lush and Thorntons competing with each or for priority in my nose (Lush was winning).
Glass fronted and teeming with twenty year old cool geeks, I stepped into the white walled chapel of Apple. It’s wasn’t an official Apple shop but they have ‘registered traders’ who can look at your device. Kind of in the same way that you can get a Costa Coffee from a vending machine at service stations. Yea it’s technically a Costa but not really.

The young guy behind the counter was cool. I am not. He took one look at the record of my call with Ian, opened up my laptop and confirmed what we both already knew. “Yea, its an issue with the hard drive, dude, we’ll need to send it away to get looked at”. I pathetically asked If there was anything, anything else he could do that day, “Not really bro… we could run diagnostics but it’ll probably show up the same issue”. It did. 

There was nothing else for it, It had to be sent away. I did discuss and look at other options but this was the quickest and potentially cheapest afforded to me. Enquiring where they sent the ill and infirm computers he told me; “Exeter bro”. ‘Don't call me bro' I thought, you’re sending my laptop to Devon, have some respect. In hindsight this was a little dramatic. He stuck a barcode to the lid and put it in a clear plastic bag reminiscent of a body bag and that was the last I saw of it... Until almost exactly a week later when it came back and there was no real problem just a bad cable that was cheap to fix. 

The moral of the story is. It’s just a laptop. Calm down dear. 

*Obviously a joke, I’m from Falkirk I have no legroom to take the proverbial out of Larbert. That line would have worked equally well if I’d have said: 

"A  journey that is actually quite picturesque if you don’t look out of the window passing Camelon.”

or

"A journey that is actually quite picturesque if you don’t look out of the window passing Falkirk.”

or
"A journey that is actually quite picturesque if you don’t look out of the window passing Lenzie."

Thanks for reading (If you did) you can follow me on Twitter and Instagram. If you're looking for another blog, this guy is good. I also have a proper website here. 

You Should Listen To This: Cabin Pressure

I’ve been saving this one till they started repeating it on BBC Radio 4. This series is something i've been obsessed with for the last few years, and not since My Childhood love of Doctor Who have I been so enthralled by a programme. You should listen to Cabin Pressure. 

Produced for the BBC by Pozzitive, Cabin pressure is the story of a tiny charter airline staffed by four people with one plane. It follows their (literal) ups and downs as they fly everyone from a full orchestra to an abandoned cricket team. 

I first discovered it by accident a few years ago. The BBC Radio iPlayer app was fairly new at the time and it curates all of the programmes in to categories as well as stations. I often go through the comedy section to see what their is and the name pop up many times along with the image of Benedict Cumberbatch in a captains uniform. I must have just taken a punt on an episode one day and the rest as they say is… spending the next few months listning back to all the episodes I’d missed in order and falling head over ears for the world of MJN air. The friendliest sitcom on radio. 


The lynchpin behind it all is the writer, John Finnemore. An immense talent, responsible for a number of brilliant programmes on Radio 4. He also plays the part of Arthur, the loveable but dim server. Writing a sitcom can be challenging and demands good characters, the central four blend together seamlessly, they are real in a bizarre world, making you care about their wants and happy about their successes. 

The depth of it’s warmth is matched by the depths of it’s characters.

“A list of actors that wouldn’t be out of place in a play at The National."

Yes that is Sherlock playing Martin Creiff! They were originally worried when Benedict was propelled to stardom Sherlock as a groups (school's or murder’s) of young fans began to fill the audience at the recordings. It was thought that they’d come to see him and not really react (laugh) at this Radio 4 comedy but they needn't have worried as the the equation of Finemore's writing and a stellar cast makes it near impossible for anyone not to find this charmingly hilarious. 

kkbook.deviantart.com

The Sherlock and Cumberbatch fandoms have a reputation (a good one) for not doing things by halves and in the most creative way. The show was already popular but it skyrocketed (pun intended) in a way that Radio 4 sitcoms don’t usually do. Fan art, Cosplay and even a European convention called Euro Airdot Con*

*The name ‘Airdot’ is a reference to the first ever episode where Carolyn and Martin are having a discussion about who’s in charge. Him (the captain) or her (The airline owner) 

CAROLYN: Martin, you’re a berk.
MARTIN: I’m not a berk, Carolyn; I’m an airline captain.
CAROLYN: Wrong on both counts. You’re a colossal berk; and you’re not an airline captain.
(Martin sighs.): I don’t have an airline. I have one jet. You cannot put one jet in a line. If MJN is anything, it is an airdot. 

:::Some things you’ll want to know before you start listning :::

Every episode is named after the location featured and all 4 series include every letter of the alphabet.

Series 1 Abu Dhabi Boston Cremona Douz Edinburgh Fitton

Series 2 Helsinki Gdansk Ipswich Johannesburg Kuala Lumpur Limerick Molokai - Christmas Special

Series 3  Qikiqtarjuarq Paris Newcastle Ottery St. Mary Rotterdam St. Petersburg

Series 4 Timbuktu Uskerty Vaduz Wokingham Xinzhou Yverdon-les-Bains Zurich (2 parter)

The Traveling Lemon It began as a game played in an episode entitled Qikiqtarjuaq. It became a wonderful fan tribute and way to raise money for charity. 

@cabin_pressure The Travelling Lemon, The Brandenburg Gate Berlin, Germany pic.twitter.com/1dDwYJCu

— Silke Reddevil (@SilkeReddevil) August 26, 2012

@cabin_pressure here's my photo for #TheTravellingLemon Pulkovo airport, Saint-Petersburg (Pulkovo 1 terminal actually) pic.twitter.com/AehiDJEw

— Alexandrina (@surdusabsurdus) June 17, 2012

The crew play a number of games to pass the time:

• Brians Of Britan

Name as many famous people with the name Brian from the UK as you can. 

• People Who ought to have been enemies. 

Ruby Was +John Wayne / Donna Summer+ Anna Wintour

• People Who Aren’t Evil but who have evil Sounding Names

Davina McCall, Russell Crowe, Calista Flockhart 

• Books that sound better without the final letter

Three Men in a Boa, How to be Goo, Of Mice and Me

• Through Customs Rhymes 

I came through Customs and all I had to declare was some … (he pauses momentarily) … jelly from New Delhi, a tunic from Munich, some maracas from Caracas and some … cattle from Seattle.

• Rhyming Journeys 

Vienna to Siena /Poole to Goole/ Aruba to Cuba

It has a fan site with every episode fully transcribed

LISTEN TO THE FIRST EPISODE HERE 
LISTEN TO THE SECOND EPISODE HERE

Thanks for reading (If you did) you can follow me on Twitter and Instagram. If you're looking for another blog, this guy is good. I also have a proper website here. 

Special thanks needs to got to www.cabinpressurefans.co.uk a brilliant resource for fans and indeed anything you want to know about cabin pressure.  

BBC Music Awards 2016

jamiesimonds.com

In my continued pursuit as 'jack of all trades and master of none' I returned as an Artist Liaison Rep to the 3rd Annual BBC Music awards in London. 

For me, it was four days in total, beginning on the Saturday and traveling from Glasgow Central to London Euston on the train. Thankfully I’d booked early enough in advance that I could travel first class on the cheap. When you imagine ‘First Class’ on a train you imagine the Orient Express, silver service, being waited hand on foot, fine wines and perhaps even a murder that's solved buy another passenger that happens to be a Belgian detective. 

Arriving into London I journeyed towards Canning Town and to the ExCeL centre. To give you an Idea of the size of this place it’s like an airport with less planes an extra terminal and you can take your pick of coffee from one of the two Costa Coffee’s… and we did. 

::BRIEF SIDE NOTE ABOUT THE HOTEL::

I’m not fussy (really I’m not) about hotels. But this place would have made Basil Fawlty blush. The restaurant attached to it was just called ‘PUB’ It was boiling hot and had an open kebab shop in the corner. The smell of grease and chunky chips did not amuse a tired team up early that day. The rooms were tiny and we had two working plugs out of six. The shower was smaller than a matchbox and the water was intermittently hot and cold every few seconds. But apart from that it was fine. Oh and the towels were weird...

After a day of smooth rehearsals and a night of slagging off the hotel, it was show day…

Slightly later start for us, but the day soon became busy as the stars and request entourage’s began to arrive and press schedules including interviews and pre-records began. Culminating in the red carpet walk and finally, the onstage performance, live on the telly. I think I’m right when I say this was the first time it has been live live, previous years it’s been as-live or time shifted?

After the show we had a bit of a de-rig to do and didn’t get out of the venue till after midnight but not before a team photo. 

A photo posted by Cerys Butcher (@ceryselizabethm) on Dec 12, 2016 at 3:44pm PST

A photo posted by Cerys Butcher (@ceryselizabethm) on Dec 20, 2016 at 2:53pm PST

:::::::::::::My own personal highlights include:::::::::::::  

The Food. An army marches on it’s stomach (not said by Napoleon) and It takes an army to put on an event like this, thankfully the food supplied by ‘Eat to the Beat’ (Not sure if they’re named after the Blondie album) is superb. 

Behind the scenes at #BBCMusicAwards in Artist and Crew Catering! #TeamEatToTheBeat pic.twitter.com/RmSvuwuasI

— Eat to the Beat (@Eattothebeat) December 12, 2016

The people. This event is very well ran and it takes a hard working and slick team to achieve that. Everyone was on top form and in good humour. 

The constant supply of tea and coffee.

This is an odd one but… twitter? What I mean is, when you’re part of something that's trending online it's a cool feeling. I still have to explain what it is to my gran though. 

Ending up on the telly…well we were asked: 

Thanks for reading (If you did) you can follow me on Twitter and Instagram. If you're looking for another blog, this guy is good. I also have a proper website here.